I'm doomed. Completely, totally and UTTERLY doomed.
He said, glowingly, "You must be the most well-adjusted person I've ever met."
Uh-oh.
At first, I was pleased. This means 1) He's dated weirdos with psychological problems and while I CAN be a bit weird there is nothing psychologically wrong with me in the needs-medication-hospitalization sense which leads us to 2) I just became a lot more awesome in his eyes. Less hassle, not in a I-can-ignore-you-now way but more along the lines of I-don't-need-to-second-guess-everything-I-saw-because-you're-crazy-neurotic way. No lose situation here. Take the compliment, Kat, and just love it.
But now, in the past week, I think I've hit a snag: yes, I'm well-adjusted. Generally a stable, logical person. There's a GIANT GIANT flaw in where I DO act neurotic:
1) When I start to really care for someone leading to...
2) I'm...um..how shall we say? I like the word POSSESSIVE
NOT JEALOUS. I don't throw fits of weeping and worry every second that he's going to cheat on me or that's I'm inferior because I'm jealous of someone else no no no. NOTHING like that. But goddmanit when your 4-year-long-relationship-ex who you've been broken up with for a year but kept sleeping with AFTER you broke up with her AND you still consider her to be one of your closest friends comes into town for an extended weekend....
HOW'S A GIRL SUPPOSED TO REACT?!?!?!
But I didn't. I kept it subdued, minimal, said nearly nothing, in fact. It's not that I think he's going to cheat on me (she's here this weekend and I'm not grrrrr), I fully trust he won't. I've seen pictures; I know I'm more attractive. I'm DEFINATELY less pyscho. But I'm still annoyed about it. Annoyed that I got the impression that he wouldn't have told me if I didn't end up naked in his bed yesterday and as a not-so-subtle way of saying I can't spend the night he says he's going out for drinks with her (to be fair, it was only 6pm and I had plans anyway but STILL). Add to that she's probably staying through the weekend and I'm not here. Add to THAT since I'm going out of town till Tuesday silly me ASSUMED he would want to hang out Thursday night before I left but since SHE'S in town that's probably not going to happen and he actually had the AUDACITY to say "well, if you want to hang out I guess you could give me a call"
That was my moment. My moment, as I'm re-clothing myself, of great anger where I turned around, laughed at him, and said, "No. I'm not calling you tomorrow. Don't be an idiot. You have 'someone' in town."
After all, its only been two months I BARELY have room to claim him for my own yet LET ALONE pull the flip-out my brain my mentally doing.
I need to go for a run.
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3 comments:
She's less attractive than you and more pyscho?! I've gotta meet this car crash!
Just teasing hun! - how goes the long weekend? xxx
You'll be glad to hear I know this one. My recently less darling boyfriend's ex is his best friend and, yes, he has been to stay with her and EVEN slept in the same bed. I WENT MAD! He thought this was reasonable behaviour because her Mum was dying and yes, she does need a lot of emotional support but not in a way that requires him to sleep in the same bed as her.
You must impress upon him that sleeping with another woman will be the end of your relationship. And if he's good enough for you, he won't. And don't feel bad for feeling what is natural. It's not possessiveness - it's merely hindsight x
Jokes aside, I agree compleatly with Izzy. Anyway,'you can call me if you want to hang' sounds like something that prob sounded good in his head but not outloud, if you see what I mean.
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