Doesn't this feel good??

Hello blog! It's been a while!! And frankly, I've been a little depressed without you. Work has been difficult. Not for me, really, but everyone else in my office has been running around like maniacs and being stressed out so me, the lowest peon in the room, gets snipped at a lot. Not to mention there was a brief spurt of my favorite coworker going on a job interview so he might be leaving me :-(. I know our relationship has to end, being that we're both in a boring job doing admin crap we don't like but it had only just begun. Thankfully, it looks like he's sticking around for a little bit.

I've come to the 100%-total conclusion that I cannot cannot cannot cannot be friends with my ex. We talked last week (on AIM wooo) and it still wasn't a fun experience. It left me feeling overall hollow and wondering why were we ever together, what was wrong with me that I would be with such a shallow person who seems to have so little to offer me in terms of interesting conversation. Of course, its because we're not close anymore, we don't have intimacy anymore, we don't talk about anything. It's all a ridiculous CNN tickertape THE WORLD TODAY. In light of that, after now being broken up for over 8 months, I'm going to get the balls up to do the unthinkable: ask him to take the pictures of us off his website.

That's right. They're still there. They haven't been updated in over a year, and the vast majority of them include me-him-dating. They're a bit of a documentary of our romantic career, in fact. I haven't had the courage to bring this up thinking he would just respond with just-stop-looking or that the girl he dumped me for would get ticked enough about them to make him take them down. But no. It hasn't happened yet. So I'm going to say something. And then I'm going to tell him we're not friends. We're not going to be. It's impossible. As a friend counseled me this weekend: I need to stop beating myself over the fact I can't forgive him for hurting me. Sometimes its just not worth the effort to work at trusting someone again. There are better things to do with your time.

And that, my dear blog, will be how I will wash the remnants of this man out of my hair.