Blogger claims I can upload videos now. I'll be sure to inform you the MOMENT I use this feature.
In other things:
Today I saw a (millionthn) Asian boy, roughly age 13, sporting a mohawk. Never ceases to make me laugh.
Despite it being rouhgly 5 kazillion degrees today, I was sweating a disgusting amount before I finished my mile walk home.
I read a lot of fashion blogs. A LOT of them. I noticed something--none of them are geared towards ME! ME! the girl who walks a mile to work every day, neither rain nor hail nor sun withstanding--what should I wear to make my shoes not ugly? How I am supposed to look both fresh and professional in August?
-for my own answer, thus far the best I've done is to go to the in-house gym in the morning so I shower before I go to wor and don't have to venture outdoors. This regime is not without its downfalls, ie, going to the gym at 7am with a hangover or even general sleepiness is not something anyone enjoys.
As with the books (TO WHICH I'VE RECIEVED NO COMMENTS) and reccomendations are greatly appreciated.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
In a bout of cynicism
While I was in college I never felt confused over my feelings for someone. I feel great affection for many people, but that isn't love. I ached for my lovers on occassion, but that too wasn't love. I'd dress up nicer, put on make-up, go to the gym, walk past the commons at a certain time--all because I was infatuated with that guy in my polisci class.
Senior year that changed. I started dating someone and fell head-over-heels--FAST. It was a feeling of desperation; I couldn't go on without it. It was a feeling of trust; he would never abandon me. It was a feeling of desire; I wanted him the moment he walked into a room. And finally it was a feeling of security; he needed me as much as I needed him, he would never go away and we would never fail.
Obviously, since I'm no longer dating this person, this cannot be true. But recently I've been thinking about it. He always claimed that he did not love me. He had loved someone before me and what he felt for me was not what he felt for her. I countered with the love-infatuation differentiation that naturally would be confusing for a 18-year-old college freshman who'd been jerked around by a girl 5 years his senior. What I felt for him and knew he MUST feel for me was different. Better. More meaningful.
But it wasn't, and perhaps I was the one who was full of infatuation. Filled with the attraction of reciprocal desire, infatuated that someone I was attracted would find me smart, caught up in the ardor of being needed. After the relationship ended, I, of course, vowed to never be so immature again.
So what do I think love means now? Respect, kindness, a desire to be with someone through it all, not just what's fun. Mutually acknowledged objectivity in what you both need and don't need. Knowledge of space--what's healthy, not just what feels good. Good sex mandatory--ripping each others clothes off not. In fact, despite believing earlier in my romantic career that celibacy was ridiculous, it can serve its purpose.
I think about these things and love, and I realize that my new mandates cause love to become more manageable and more...controlled. Is this love, or is this settling? It feels like a risk, trying to do it again, but maybe it is in fact the opposite in the form of a sick parody of stability replacing happiness. I feel sure, but perhaps my surety is and symptom rather than the answer; a lack of self-awareness on my part. It is humbling to think that that which I have accused so many before me of doing is something I could be faulty of myself.
...and then I realize I've just been eating too much chocolate today, its overcast and I'm incredibly bored at work.
Senior year that changed. I started dating someone and fell head-over-heels--FAST. It was a feeling of desperation; I couldn't go on without it. It was a feeling of trust; he would never abandon me. It was a feeling of desire; I wanted him the moment he walked into a room. And finally it was a feeling of security; he needed me as much as I needed him, he would never go away and we would never fail.
Obviously, since I'm no longer dating this person, this cannot be true. But recently I've been thinking about it. He always claimed that he did not love me. He had loved someone before me and what he felt for me was not what he felt for her. I countered with the love-infatuation differentiation that naturally would be confusing for a 18-year-old college freshman who'd been jerked around by a girl 5 years his senior. What I felt for him and knew he MUST feel for me was different. Better. More meaningful.
But it wasn't, and perhaps I was the one who was full of infatuation. Filled with the attraction of reciprocal desire, infatuated that someone I was attracted would find me smart, caught up in the ardor of being needed. After the relationship ended, I, of course, vowed to never be so immature again.
So what do I think love means now? Respect, kindness, a desire to be with someone through it all, not just what's fun. Mutually acknowledged objectivity in what you both need and don't need. Knowledge of space--what's healthy, not just what feels good. Good sex mandatory--ripping each others clothes off not. In fact, despite believing earlier in my romantic career that celibacy was ridiculous, it can serve its purpose.
I think about these things and love, and I realize that my new mandates cause love to become more manageable and more...controlled. Is this love, or is this settling? It feels like a risk, trying to do it again, but maybe it is in fact the opposite in the form of a sick parody of stability replacing happiness. I feel sure, but perhaps my surety is and symptom rather than the answer; a lack of self-awareness on my part. It is humbling to think that that which I have accused so many before me of doing is something I could be faulty of myself.
...and then I realize I've just been eating too much chocolate today, its overcast and I'm incredibly bored at work.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Today's Round-Up
Given my fondness for lists, I'm thinking of changing the concept of this blog. More on that if I make a decision.
Congress is in recess which makes my job obscenely boring. The perk of this monotony is that I can read a lot of current events/news/gossip/film reviews/fashion magazines (oh, and study for the GRE). Things of note:
I Blame the Patriachy has an EXCELLENT run-down on recent pro-life/anti-abortion measures happening in local governments in the United States. In recent conversations I've had with pro-lifers, they have argued that the differences between pro-lifers and pro-choicers are mainly cultural (ie, religious) and therefore should be left to regional, local governments. The comment I fired back concerned the ridiculousness of this measure: why ban something in one area if the person in question can easily cross state lines? All you're doing is creating (again) an elitist system where only those who can afford the choice have it...and there again continues my ongoing war of elitism vs. feminism, results not yet tallied.
Wikipedia, which we all love and rely on for way too much information and hilarity (thank YOU, Stephen Colbert), has exposed the conspiracy of the corporate culture on information gathering!!! Ah, this reminds me of the lecture a (British) professor gave on Hurricane Katrina where he quoted statistics from Wikipedia, only to have one of the two American students in the class (this was while I was in school in the UK) point out that no one in academia would take a Wikipedia reference seriously.
In case you missed it, there was (another) Democratic presidential debate on Sunday, hosted by George Stephanopoulos as part of This Week. Hillary was a pleasant surprise (I have been a long-avowed Hillary doubter) while Obama seemed nervous (he who I DID love). Biden, always hilarious, and really Kucinich needs to get a reality check. But the overall feeling is that everyone is sick of listening to these people talk already. And I, for one, am very sad that some states are moving their primaries up. February used to be *such* an exciting month during election years.
I'm going to start a new (pseudo-academia) project looking into (mainly domestic) economics in the 80s. Any reading recommendations greatly appreciated.
Congress is in recess which makes my job obscenely boring. The perk of this monotony is that I can read a lot of current events/news/gossip/film reviews/fashion magazines (oh, and study for the GRE). Things of note:
I Blame the Patriachy has an EXCELLENT run-down on recent pro-life/anti-abortion measures happening in local governments in the United States. In recent conversations I've had with pro-lifers, they have argued that the differences between pro-lifers and pro-choicers are mainly cultural (ie, religious) and therefore should be left to regional, local governments. The comment I fired back concerned the ridiculousness of this measure: why ban something in one area if the person in question can easily cross state lines? All you're doing is creating (again) an elitist system where only those who can afford the choice have it...and there again continues my ongoing war of elitism vs. feminism, results not yet tallied.
Wikipedia, which we all love and rely on for way too much information and hilarity (thank YOU, Stephen Colbert), has exposed the conspiracy of the corporate culture on information gathering!!! Ah, this reminds me of the lecture a (British) professor gave on Hurricane Katrina where he quoted statistics from Wikipedia, only to have one of the two American students in the class (this was while I was in school in the UK) point out that no one in academia would take a Wikipedia reference seriously.
In case you missed it, there was (another) Democratic presidential debate on Sunday, hosted by George Stephanopoulos as part of This Week. Hillary was a pleasant surprise (I have been a long-avowed Hillary doubter) while Obama seemed nervous (he who I DID love). Biden, always hilarious, and really Kucinich needs to get a reality check. But the overall feeling is that everyone is sick of listening to these people talk already. And I, for one, am very sad that some states are moving their primaries up. February used to be *such* an exciting month during election years.
I'm going to start a new (pseudo-academia) project looking into (mainly domestic) economics in the 80s. Any reading recommendations greatly appreciated.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Feminism, marriage and other notes on a mother
It's a bit trite to post on marriage, but after the weekend I've had I've decided to reflect on the practice a bit.
There are quite a few women I've come into contact recently that are either getting married young, are young and wish they were getting married, or are ready/having children. I, at the tender age at 24, have only the vaguest thought concerning these events with regards to myself sometime in the next 10 or so years. I can't claim the authority of this woman, however, the more I see this marriage thing going on, the more it freaks me out.
My parents were married fairly young and have very firm opinions on this matter. They are currently teaching one of those marriage-prep classes with the Catholic Church and this has only served to solidify their viewpoints. They firmly believe a married couple should have (or at least want to have) children, share all finances, and that all decision should be made jointly. Not to knock on them: my parents have an amazing relationship. They are an incredible team. That being said, their views sound ridiculous to me. I won't share my bank account with anyone; it implies a level of trust I have never had for a person. Distributing costs based on which partner makes more? Sure. Putting everything in one pot and divving it up based on 'need'? Seems doomed to fail a la communism...unless there's only one person working. And then you enter into the whose-work-is-more-important arena
Children: well, perhaps I'll go on about that later. What I really want to dwell on is the joint decision making process.
I dated someone for a year and a half. I've known many, many people who have dated/been married in my age group. This joint decision-making thing? Have yet to see it work. Unless both people are in the same career field, or are committed to living in the same place, it doesn't work. Someone loses out, especially in this 20-ish range. One person is willing to give more or has more flexibility, leading to feelings of insecurity from the other person, or the end result compromise is a less prestigious opportunity for the more-flexible partner. The real result? It becomes ridiculously apparent to all parties who is the more-dependent person in the relationship. Power disparities may be a fact of life, but I doubt any couple wants them on display for public consumption.
Some women are fine with this. I see many around me that are proud they didn't finish college/take that job/move to name-that-big-city because they decided to follow someone. I hear much less often of a man doing the same. While it is obvious that compromise is the root of a healthy relationship, why is it always the woman who has to give? Women, many feminists, tout their flexibility as one of the core components of 'femininity'--but why is this flexibility most often geared towards appeasing men? And finally, is it possible to have an even power-relationship within a marriage when these sorts of choices will need to be made?
There are quite a few women I've come into contact recently that are either getting married young, are young and wish they were getting married, or are ready/having children. I, at the tender age at 24, have only the vaguest thought concerning these events with regards to myself sometime in the next 10 or so years. I can't claim the authority of this woman, however, the more I see this marriage thing going on, the more it freaks me out.
My parents were married fairly young and have very firm opinions on this matter. They are currently teaching one of those marriage-prep classes with the Catholic Church and this has only served to solidify their viewpoints. They firmly believe a married couple should have (or at least want to have) children, share all finances, and that all decision should be made jointly. Not to knock on them: my parents have an amazing relationship. They are an incredible team. That being said, their views sound ridiculous to me. I won't share my bank account with anyone; it implies a level of trust I have never had for a person. Distributing costs based on which partner makes more? Sure. Putting everything in one pot and divving it up based on 'need'? Seems doomed to fail a la communism...unless there's only one person working. And then you enter into the whose-work-is-more-important arena
Children: well, perhaps I'll go on about that later. What I really want to dwell on is the joint decision making process.
I dated someone for a year and a half. I've known many, many people who have dated/been married in my age group. This joint decision-making thing? Have yet to see it work. Unless both people are in the same career field, or are committed to living in the same place, it doesn't work. Someone loses out, especially in this 20-ish range. One person is willing to give more or has more flexibility, leading to feelings of insecurity from the other person, or the end result compromise is a less prestigious opportunity for the more-flexible partner. The real result? It becomes ridiculously apparent to all parties who is the more-dependent person in the relationship. Power disparities may be a fact of life, but I doubt any couple wants them on display for public consumption.
Some women are fine with this. I see many around me that are proud they didn't finish college/take that job/move to name-that-big-city because they decided to follow someone. I hear much less often of a man doing the same. While it is obvious that compromise is the root of a healthy relationship, why is it always the woman who has to give? Women, many feminists, tout their flexibility as one of the core components of 'femininity'--but why is this flexibility most often geared towards appeasing men? And finally, is it possible to have an even power-relationship within a marriage when these sorts of choices will need to be made?
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Tagged?
I didn't think I was in the blogging world enough to be 'tagged' for something. I recognize this for the plea that it is (MEOKAT WHY HAVEN'T YOU POSTED IN FOREVER).
ANYWAY eight things about me:
1) I have a slight obsession with my hands, but more specifically my nails. I've received compliments on my nails for as long as I can remember, and the combination of playing tennis and the piano in high school made me really anal about keeping my hands and nails clean and looking nice. The fact that I can't afford manicures on a regular basis often drives me up the wall.
2) I can't leave a kitchen dirty. I'm always convinced a million germs and molds are growing there and will eat me in my sleep.
3) I have a boyfriend who just started a blog and I lied and told him I don't have one and I think blogs are dumb. http://thingsonthings.wordpress.com/ Ssshhh don't tell.
4) I like to make up stories of people that I walk by on the way to work.
5) I really like shoes...which leads me too...
6) I would love to go back to England and see the people I went to school with. But I keep buying shoes.
7) I wish I was more creative but every time I start something I get bored very quickly
8) I'm not tagging anyone because I haven't posted in months and it would be, frankly, embarassing.
UPDATE FOR REALS SOMETIME SOON (soon-ish)
ANYWAY eight things about me:
1) I have a slight obsession with my hands, but more specifically my nails. I've received compliments on my nails for as long as I can remember, and the combination of playing tennis and the piano in high school made me really anal about keeping my hands and nails clean and looking nice. The fact that I can't afford manicures on a regular basis often drives me up the wall.
2) I can't leave a kitchen dirty. I'm always convinced a million germs and molds are growing there and will eat me in my sleep.
3) I have a boyfriend who just started a blog and I lied and told him I don't have one and I think blogs are dumb. http://thingsonthings.wordpress.com/ Ssshhh don't tell.
4) I like to make up stories of people that I walk by on the way to work.
5) I really like shoes...which leads me too...
6) I would love to go back to England and see the people I went to school with. But I keep buying shoes.
7) I wish I was more creative but every time I start something I get bored very quickly
8) I'm not tagging anyone because I haven't posted in months and it would be, frankly, embarassing.
UPDATE FOR REALS SOMETIME SOON (soon-ish)
Thursday, May 03, 2007
I've decided I'm not working today
Oh yes, I'm at work. But I'm more or less taking the day off and just sitting at my desk. It's been a busy week and I'm boycotting it today. Besides, it will leave with me enough to do tomorrow to hopefully make Friday fly by.
It's been, oh my!! over two weeks since I posted. Sorry about that.
Funny things:
It's been, oh my!! over two weeks since I posted. Sorry about that.
Funny things:
- I saw a bum peeing in an alleyway. When he saw me, he said, 'I's sorry, I just had to go!'
- I was walking down the street carrying a Scrabble board and a guy yelled at me, "Scrabble?? I can't even SPELL!"
- I'm taking up tennis again.
- I've become addicted to Naked smoothies (very similar to Innocent smoothies in the UK) which is a slight problem because they're a bit expensive
- I've stopped reading political things and started reading a lot about fashion
Monday, April 23, 2007
Oops!
Something amazing just happened.
A group of 5 people from the South African parliament walked into my office looking for a room for a meeting. It wasn't one of the rooms in my office, so I looked them up in our room reservation system, but didn't see anything. The group had a phone number, so I called it to try and help them out.
Me: Hello, this is Kat from ***. I'm calling because I have a group from South Africa in my office that is looking for a meeting in X room at 1:30. They have your phone number as a contact. Do you know anything about this?
Woman: Oh yes, they're expected by Mr. Z at 1:30.
Me: Ok, where should I send them for the meeting? I don't know where this room is...
Woman: The meeting isn't till 1:30. They have loads of time. Don't send them over yet!
Me: ....It's 1:30 now.
Woman: No it isn't!! It's 10:30!!!
Me: No..it's 1:30. (pause) Wait, where are you?
Woman: Where are you? I'm in the Washington State legislature.
Me: I'm in Washington, DC.
Together: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Man, that really sucks.
A group of 5 people from the South African parliament walked into my office looking for a room for a meeting. It wasn't one of the rooms in my office, so I looked them up in our room reservation system, but didn't see anything. The group had a phone number, so I called it to try and help them out.
Me: Hello, this is Kat from ***. I'm calling because I have a group from South Africa in my office that is looking for a meeting in X room at 1:30. They have your phone number as a contact. Do you know anything about this?
Woman: Oh yes, they're expected by Mr. Z at 1:30.
Me: Ok, where should I send them for the meeting? I don't know where this room is...
Woman: The meeting isn't till 1:30. They have loads of time. Don't send them over yet!
Me: ....It's 1:30 now.
Woman: No it isn't!! It's 10:30!!!
Me: No..it's 1:30. (pause) Wait, where are you?
Woman: Where are you? I'm in the Washington State legislature.
Me: I'm in Washington, DC.
Together: oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Man, that really sucks.
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